And there was more, she said. Because I asked to hear everything, she also told me that all in all, she’d given blowjobs to 12 guys in high school. TWELVE GUYS?? That rocked me. I just didn’t even know what to say. Slept with three guys and sucked off 12, meanwhile before her I was sitting at fingering one other girl and was a virgin.

I felt sick to my stomach. I told her I needed to take a walk on my own and think about things.

I went back to my dorm and told my roomie about everything. He was a lot more nonchalant about it. He said that for a girl this cool, I shouldn’t let this stuff get in the way. But he didn’t understand how strong my jealousy issues were.

Stacy sent me a bunch of texts asking where I was, if I was ok, what I was thinking. I avoided her for the rest of that night and all the next day. That next night I texted her and asked her to meet me at the picnic table between our two dorm buildings. Looking back, I don’t exactly know why I said what I said when we met up… it just kind of happened.