She was absolutely shaking and nervous when we met up. I sat her down. And did all the talking. I told her I’ve taken the last day to think about it. And I realized that I couldn’t lose her, even though all this stuff was hard to swallow. And I told her it was because I loved her. Looking back, 11 years later… that was ridiculous and I didn’t even know what love was then, but in that moment I thought I felt it. That love was the only reason why hearing all this stuff didn’t make me all out run away.

She told me she loved me too, and we were back to good. It all still ate away at me every day, but for the time being I didn’t want to lose her. I thought I’d try and put up with my mind going crazy in quiet times just to keep her. That maybe that anger and jealousy would get better as time went on.

She let me know that we could go at the pace that I was comfortable with. That she knew I was a virgin and that we would only take it to the next level when I was ready. And wait we did.