She closed with this:
“This thing with John though… I feel like he’s a magnet that I can’t tear myself away from. The last week that you and I were dating and I was distant, I was trying to put everything in perspective and get a feel for things. I’m so sorry to say this, but I was trying to figure out if I should stay with you or get back with John. And yes, I acted out of control that night that we went out and I’m very sorry about that. You ending it was a surprise though, but at the same time you helped make my decision for me.
Owen, I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, and you were not just a way to pass the time or someone to fill in an empty space. It was real and I was happy. I know that you and I had great potential and that you had always treated me very well and that I could be very happy with you. I am really very, very sorry about all of this. It was never my intention to hurt you and I wish I could have spared you from everything.”
I was right about everything. I was right in guessing that the holiday party and the week after were bad because of John. I was right that she’d just end up hurting me again. I was just disgusted with everything. Over. This is all over.
I remember laying in bed for hours just thinking and listening to John Mayer that night. I was just numb.